White coat. Heels.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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