My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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