Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
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If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
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Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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