A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
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