Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My dad just said "fuck circus"
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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