just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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