I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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