Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
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