some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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