Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
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I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
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I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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