Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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