also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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