Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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