he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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