I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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