Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize