Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.

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  (805): Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer. http://tfl.nu/1b8s
  Replies (11) Good night (830) Bad night (372) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.

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  (415): I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys. http://tfl.nu/rxe7
  Replies (14) Good night (2380) Bad night (532) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex

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  (510): Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex http://tfl.nu/01m8
  Replies (15) Good night (1000) Bad night (4882) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over

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  (205): I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over http://tfl.nu/18ji
  Replies (22) Good night (1017) Bad night (4280) Order T-Shirt
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  (858): View more from California

  Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.

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  (858): Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today. http://tfl.nu/g96b
  Replies (10) Good night (3316) Bad night (1286) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively

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  (845): you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively http://tfl.nu/v9v6
  Replies (1) Good night (1771) Bad night (787) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.

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  (304): My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires. http://tfl.nu/nxay
  Replies (14) Good night (3187) Bad night (1581) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman

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  (724): we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman http://tfl.nu/wgol
  Replies (11) Good night (3017) Bad night (910)
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  (760): View more from California

  Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.

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  (760): Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood. http://tfl.nu/nrod
  Replies (9) Good night (2375) Bad night (636) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  She still cant shoot whiskey?

  (925): View more from California

  Im having serious doubts about this relationship

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  (925): She still cant shoot whiskey? (925): Im having serious doubts about this relationship http://tfl.nu/o90t
  Replies (3) Good night (1201) Bad night (620)
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  (585): View more from New York

  And I feel bad.

  (716): View more from New York

  Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?

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  (585): And I feel bad. (716): Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft? http://tfl.nu/a3w7
  Replies (7) Good night (1598) Bad night (653)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Figured I'd get right to the point

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  (215): My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up." (1-215): Figured I'd get right to the point http://tfl.nu/wgkv
  Replies (8) Good night (730) Bad night (1421)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested

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  (914): Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested http://tfl.nu/5edf
  Replies (4) Good night (1645) Bad night (461) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?

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  (248): What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence? http://tfl.nu/gb31
  Replies (6) Good night (1021) Bad night (740) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...

  (226): View more from Ontario

  did I at least say anything...

  (519): View more from Ontario

  you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living

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  (519): we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom... (226): did I at least say anything... (519): you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living http://tfl.nu/vjjh
  Replies (6) Good night (1809) Bad night (250)

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