Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize