I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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