Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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