Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
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