just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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