Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize