Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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