By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I want a musical about memes.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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