Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
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That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
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HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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