I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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