We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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