Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
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