The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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