My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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