You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
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DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
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I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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