Buhtt sex?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just want nice things and good sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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