We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize