it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize