she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
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Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
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I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
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