don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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