i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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