Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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