If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
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Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
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I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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