so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I wish there were birth control emojis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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