Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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