dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sacagawea was the original milf.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize