Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize