Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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