Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
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My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
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He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
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