after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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