I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize