My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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