so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
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I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
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I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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